Second Verse, Same As The First

Alberta’s Finance Minister opened up her big gob recently and has sparked yet another debate about stay at home parenting. For as long as women have been shooting offspring out of their bodies this has been a hot topic and it is one I have stayed away from.

Until now.

Ms. Evans feels that good parenting means sacrificing income to stay at home while kids are young. What Ms. Evans believes and what is real are totally different things.

They’ve understood perfectly well that when you’re raising children, you don’t both go off to work and leave them for somebody else to raise,” Evans told the small crowd. “This is not a statement against daycare. It’s a statement about their belief in the importance of raising children properly.

What I do not know is whether she stayed home with her three sons while they were growing up.

As a mother who has been it all, SAHM, WAHM, and WOHM I can say without any hesitation that I know what is best for me and my family. Period.

I refuse to sacrifice my family home and our lifestyle so I can be home all day. And I take it personally when I feel I am being judged because someone thinks I should.

I know I am a better mother because I work outside of my home. Even on my days off Henry goes to daycare because I know he will have fun and learn more then he would if he was with me all day. I really am that boring.

I know my son is well loved and cared for in his daycare. When it is time for us to go in the morning he happily puts on his shoes and runs to the front door, eager to go. When I pick him up at 5 o’clock he quickly runs to me for a hug and a kiss then runs back to play with his friends. When I ask him to find his shoes and sweater he hides because he does not want to leave. There have been days when I have carried him kicking and screaming from daycare.

He has started counting to 10, knows most of his colours and loves to sing the “Clean Up” song. Could I have done any better if he had been home with me all day? No. Could I have done any worse? Probably. Like I said before I really am that boring.

I think it’s time we stop pointing out to one another what it is we are doing wrong as parents and start pointing out what it is we are doing right.

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4 thoughts on “Second Verse, Same As The First

  1. Sgt

    Not sure I totally agree with you. I would prefer if we could have you home. I would sacrifice lifestyle a bit I think and No 3 could still go to his play group. Anyway I don’t think as a family we could collectively sacrifice enough. I think you prefered to be a work at home Mom…you should try that again once we pay off the bills.

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  2. Sandy

    I couldn’t agree more. As a full-time professor I have some flexibility with my schedule, but I am constantly meeting moms who look at me funny when they find out I went back to work after six weeks, that I sometimes give my son a bottle, and that I can’t come to a particular mommy group meeting because I have to teach. I, too, feel that my son will have a mom who is happy and fulfilled, which I wouldn’t be if I stayed home full time. I know there ARE moms who are thrilled to stay home, and I am happy for them. It’s just not for me. LOVE your blog, by the way.

    Reply
  3. Suzy Voices

    I totally agree with you!! We all have to do what works for US. My kids are both such wonderful, smart, polite (usually) little boys. And I give credit to daycare for a large portion of this! I stayed at home for two years, and basically just let the boys watch TV! Daycare did a much better job!

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  4. Siera

    I found you by way of Statia… I am a Canadian navy fiance (common-law wife) and we have a 14 mth old boy. How old is your henry? I am having issues with the night wakings/night tantrums and tantrums as we speak. I feel your pain.

    Reply

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